Blogger's Block

I've been away from blogging for too long, and after much kind encouragement from friends (and a long talk with my father over dinner in Petra) I hope that this entry signifies my return.

I have loved spending time on this blog for the past year, and so, to tell the truth, I was very puzzled when I found it hard to keep going. I finally figured out that there were a few main things on my mind:

1) A mixed audience. At the beginning of this writing, I had a clear idea that I was writing for Americans (mostly in Rotary and my family members) who knew little about the Middle East. I wanted to take you all with me on my journey so that we could discover Jordan and the ME together. Then I began to dialogue with Jordanians and students of the region who knew more, and I think I got a bit caught up in making truthful yet astute pronouncements about Jordan and the Arab world, which was not really my original intention. I got confused. Who am I writing to?

2) Lack of feedback. I realized that I had originally imagined this blog as a conversation. I don't feel comfortable with the idea that everything I say remains undisputed. I like the idea of putting out an idea and then discussing it and any other related points that people wanted to bring to the table. On the other hand, I found out recently that many people are, in fact, reading my blog. So maybe, unless you are lucky enough to become extremely popular, the nature of blogging is a bit of a one-sided conversation. Though I would still love to hear more questions/comments about the ideas I post!

3) Getting carried away. I am a critical person - self-critical above all, I suppose - but I am still extremely critical of my surroundings wherever I go. I think I was getting a bit carried away with my criticism of my experience here, as I really think that is beyond the capacity of what I know at this point. I felt a bit as though I was running so enthusiastically that I didn't notice that I had run right off the edge of the observation precipice, and was no longer on solid writing ground.

4) People are actually reading my blog. I think I realized this and got a bit of stage fright.

All of this put together gave me a stint of what I'm fondly calling "blogger's block." Thanks to encouragement from friends and family, and some time to figure out what was bothering me, I feel better.

I wonder if there are other bloggers out there who have felt the same way. How do you know who your audience is? How do you know how people are receiving your ideas?